达?矢抾哆拉?
范文一：搞笑英语小故事
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搞笑英语小故事
Whose Child Is It?
A pupil said excitedly to his father,"The teacher said a child drinking hippopotamus‘ milk has gain 20 pounds of weight in a month." His father,
in a stern voice, said," Nonsense ! Where is such a thing ? Whose child is
it ?" "It is the hippopotamus' child ." The pupil answered. 谁的孩子
一个小学生地对他说:“说一个孩子喝河马的奶，一个月长了20磅。”他爸爸
用严厉的声调说:“胡说～哪有这样的事,是谁的孩子,” “是河
马的孩子。”小学生回答说。
Is Little Jack Clever ?
There was a mango tree in Mr Smith 's yard . One day , suspecting the children in the neighborhood would try to climb his tree for those delicious
ripe fruits , he left his pet monkey out in the tree to guard it . This kept
the children away from the tree ----at least , most of the children . However,
it did not bother little Jack . He thought of a good idea to get Mr Smith 's
mangoes . He threw stones at the monkey , who became very angry and threw
mangoes back at little Jack .
小杰克聪明吗,
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管理资料下载 http://www.downhot.com/ 最好的管理资料下载网站 史密斯先生的院子里有一颗芒果树。一天，他怀疑邻居的孩子们会爬树摘那些熟了的好吃的果子，于是就把他的宠物猴子留在树上看着这棵树。这使得孩子们无法靠近这棵树——至少是大部分孩子。然而这并没有难倒小杰克，他想了一个好主意拿到史密斯先生的芒果。他用石头扔猴子，猴子变得很生气，于是它用芒果回击小杰克。
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范文二：英语故事搞笑幽默_0
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英语故事搞笑幽默
英语故事教学不仅能有效地学习英语知识,亦能有效地
培养学生的思维能力。小编精心收集了搞笑幽默英语故事，
供大家欣赏学习!
搞笑幽默英语故事篇1 A drunk
醉汉
A police officer pulls over a guy who has been weaving in and out of the lanes.
有一位警官把一个在车道上穿进穿出，迂回蛇行的男子
拦到路边。
He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir,I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
他走到这名男子的车窗旁边说:“先生，我要你对着这
个酒精测试管吹一口气。”
The man says,"Sorry officer I can't do am an I do that I'll have a really badasthma attack."
这名男子说:“对不起呀，警官，我不能吹呀。我是个
气喘病患者呀。如果我吹的话，我就会真的患很严重的气喘
病。”
"Ok, need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
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“ 好， 好。我要你到警察局进行血液检验。”
"I can't do that am a I do that,I'll bleed to
death."
“我也能抽血检验呀。我是个血友病患呀。如果我抽血
检验，我就会流血过多而死呀。”
"Well ,then we need a urine sample."
“嗯，那我们就要你进行尿液检验吧。”
"I am sorry officer I can't do that am also a I
do that I'll get really low bloodsugar."
“对不起呀 ，警官，我也不能验尿呀。我也是一个糖
尿病患者呀。如果我验尿的话，我的血糖就真的会变得很
低。”
"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk
this white line."
“好吧，那我要你出来到这边，走这条白线。”
"I can't do that,officer."
“警官，我办不到呀。”
"Why not? "
“为什么办不到?”
"Because I am too drunk to do that."
“因为我喝得太醉了，所以不能那么做呀。”
搞笑幽默英语故事篇2 Idiot Teacher
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白痴老师
If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .
喜爱挖苦人的老师说:“如果在这间教室里面有白痴，
就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,
沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.
老师就以讥笑的口气问他:“喂， 先生，你为什么认为
你自己是个白痴呀?”
"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all byyourself."
这名学生说:“ 唉呀，实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢，
而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。”
搞笑幽默英语故事篇3 Silly Doctor
蠢医生
A man went to see his doctor
有一名男子去看他的医生，
because he was suffering from a miserable cold.
因为他正遭到令人难受的感冒之苦。
His doctor prescribed some pills,
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他的医生开了一些药丸 ，
but they didn't help.
但是这些药丸都没什么帮助。
On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot,
他笫二次去的时候，医生给他打针，
but that didn't do any good.
但是那也没什么效。
On his third visit the doctor told the man,
他第三次去的时候 ，医生告诉这名男子:
"Go home and take a hot soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."
“回家洗个热水澡吧。你一洗完澡就把所有韵窗户都打
开，然后站在通风处。”
"But doc,"protested the patient,
这名病人抗议说:“但是医生，
"if I do that,I'll get pneumonia."
如果我那么做的话，我就会得到肺炎呀。”
"I know,"said the doctor,"don't worry,I can cure pneumonia."
医生说:“我知道啦，别担心啦，我会治疗肺炎啦。”
看了“搞笑幽默英语故事”的人还看了:
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范文三：幽默搞笑英语笑话故事
青蛙和癞蛤蟆
A toad saw a frog near the road. He was a fat old frog. He sat and moaned and groaned.一只癞蛤蟆在路旁看到了一只青蛙。它是一只又胖又老的青蛙。他坐在那里呻吟和叹息。
The toad said,
So the frog and the toad went down the road to a big oak tree.所以青蛙和癞蛤蟆一起沿着这条路跳到一棵大橡树旁。
But Mr. Frog said, in a deep croak,
密码
A kid complains a computer problem.有个孩子抱怨电脑有问题。
Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What's the joke?孩子：当我输入密码时，它只显示星号，星号，开什么玩笑呀。
Man: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.大人：亲爱的孩子，这些星号是用来保护你的，即使你身旁站着一个人，他也没法知道你的密码。
Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.孩子：哦，但是没有人站在我身旁，它还是显示星号。
浇水
Man : Go and water the plants.主人：去给花草浇水。
Servant: It's raining.佣人：现在正在下雨。
Man: So what？ Take an umbrella and go !!!主人：那又怎么样，带把伞出去浇水！
水的化学分子式
Teacher: What is the chemical formula of water?老师：水的化学分子式是什么?
Student: HIJKLMNO.学生：HIJKLMNO。
Teacher: What are you talking about?老师：你在说什么？
Student: Yesterday you said H to O.学生：你昨天说的从H到O。
来源:每天一乐笑话网 http://www.yl24.com
详细参考:英语笑话故事 http://www.yl24.com/articles/168/1.html
范文四：周克华的故事英语搞笑话剧
Long long ago,there is a dangerous man in China.His name is Mr.Zhou Kehua .He used gun to
kill many people.Here are 2 events about Mr.Zhou. We can know more of him. ACT1
This is sunny day, Mr.zhou sat next to a building.This building named “China bank”there were
some customers save and draw money.
Mr.Zhou:Oh my God , this is a very good time to snatch money.I have to do some prepare .(drawing a map of this area and walk around the bank)
Some days later,at the same area. 配乐:Dangerous
Mr.Zhou:(walk towards a young man, take the gun from his pocket)Aha~there is a young man
with a lot of money.
Young man:Who are you?
Mr.Zhou:You needn`t know this .Give me all of your money.
Young man:Help,help.
Mr.zhou:You needn`t do this nobody will help you even if you make break of your throat by shout
loudly.
Young man:What will you do if I say no?
Mr.Zhou:I”ll...kill you
Mr.Zhou kehua pick the bag and run away.
ACT2
In a small lane,a police officer followed the Mr.Zhou.
Mr.Zhou:Who are you?Why you followed me such long time?
Police:You can guess,I’m sure that you know my name.
Mr.Zhou:Are you my uncle?
Police:No.
Mr.Zhou:Are you my brother?
Police:No.
Mr.Zhou:Oh,I see.My grandfather,I haven’t see you for long time.
Police:.....I’m a police officer.
Mr.Zhou:What?
Police:Hey my guy,take it eazy.I’m only want to do a business to you.
Mr.Zhou:Well,it seems like I don’t have any choose.
Police:You are so smart.OK,The leader want you to be a Secret Sevice. Mr.Zhou:Why?
Police: Do you know Ladeng?
Mr.Zhou:Of cause.I know.
Police:He is also a Chinese Secret Sevice.We let he to do some mess in the U.S. Mr.Zhou;I”ll do that,thank you.It’s always my dream.What should I do.
Police:Go to Japan and make a panic.
Mr.Zhou:Why is Japan.
Police:They want to grab the Diaoyu islands.
Mr.Zhou:I see.
Police:This is your postcard and passenger ticker.Good luck! 2 days later ,prepare everything well Mr.Zhou are go to Japan by plane.And now,you may can see
a cropped-hair man on the Japanese street. END
范文五：搞笑英语小故事：家庭主妇
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A smart housewife
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the
coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: “That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save
half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!”
精明的家庭主妇
一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了
大为兴奋，说:“那太好了～一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就
可以把煤全都省下来了吗,”
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