嗫?暁雲?
范文一：有趣的英语小故事
Now I’m a big tree,
I like this glorious place, The grass is green
The pond is wet
The clouds are clean,
The song of the birds rings out in space…
Under my arms, I see many kids playing in the shadow.
As time goes by,
Everything changes,
The grass is no longer green, The pond is dry
The clouds are dark,
The birds and the kids has gone, Cause I lost my arms…
Do you know,
Each blade of grass,
Each honey trees,
Each bit of mud,
Is earth’s blood and muscle
Skin and bone.
Please save the earth, save our home,?
Earth is in your hands,
Let’s keep it healthy and beautiful!
范文二：英语幽默小故事
疑神疑鬼
Smith got up in the middle of the night and saw something white in the garden. It seemed to be moving towards the house. “That’s a thief!” he thought. He took his gun and shot at him. Then he went back to bed and fell asleep again, because he was too frightened to go out of the house in the dark.
The next morning, Smith went out and saw one of his own white shirts hanging on the clothes line in the garden. His wife had washed it the day before and hung it out to dry. Now it had a bullet-hole right through the middle of it.
好奇伤身
While Miles waited at the airport to board his plane, he noticed a computer scale that would give your weight and a fortune. He dropped a quarter in the slot, and the computer screen displayed: “You weight 195 pounds, you’re married and you’re on your way to San Diego.” Miles stood there dumbfounded.
Another man put in a quarter and the computer read: “You weigh 184 pounds, you’re divorced and you’re on your way to Chicago.”
Miles said to the man, “Are you divorced and on your way to Chicago?” “Yes,” came the reply.
Miles was amazed. Then he rushed to the men’s room, changed his clothes and put on dark glassed. He went to the machine again. The computer read: “You still weigh 195 pounds, you’re still married. And you just missed your plane to San Diego.”
他是谁
George went to the bath-house to have a bath. The attendant asked him to solve a riddle. “Please tell me who he is. He is not my brother, and nor is my sister, but he is a child of my parents.”
George thought for a long time. At last he said. “I don’t know.”
The attendant laughed and said to him, “It’s me!”
George liked the riddle very much. When he go home, he said to his wife, “Jenny, tell me who he is. He is not my brother, and neither is my sister, but he is a child of my parents.”
Jenny didn’t know. George had such a good laugh that he seemed to lose his breath, “You don’t know? He is the attendant of the bath-house.”
范文三：英语幽默小故事
1、 New Discovery
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young
model stepped off the elevator.
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled,
一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。 他走进一座大楼, 看见一个岁数很大的矮胖 女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上,有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿,门开了, 电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。
乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛,慢吞吞地说:“ 我应该把我的老婆带来 !”
hillbilly
n. 乡下人,乡巴佬 .
pudgy
adj. 矮胖的,矮而粗的
drawl
vt, vi慢吞吞地说;拉长语调地说
2、 Always Thirsty
总感到口渴
一个男人对他的朋友说:“ 我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的 身体里了。 ”
“ 真是太糟糕了! ” 朋友说道:“ 你觉得疼吗? ”
“不疼,可是我总感到口渴。”
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?
约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问, “ 发生了什么事? ”
“ 一个男孩咬了我一口, ” 伊凡说。
“ 再见到他你能认出来吗? ” 妈妈问。
“ 他走到哪里我都能认出他, ” 伊凡说。 “ 他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。 ”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“ 昨天给你的钱干什么了? ”
“ 我给了一个可怜的老太婆, ” 他回答说。 “ 你真是个好孩子, ” 妈妈骄傲地说。 “ 再 给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢? ”
“ 她是个卖糖果的。 ”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked,
醉酒
一天, 父亲与小儿子一道回家。 这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄, 老是有提不完的问题。 他向父亲发问道:“ 爸爸, ? 醉 ? 字是什么意思? ” “ 唔, 孩子, ” 父亲回答说, “ 你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算 醉了。 ” “ 可是,爸爸, ” 孩子说, “ 那儿只有一个警察呀! ”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said:
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时, 家里没有奶酪了, 于是女主人向大家表示歉意。 这家 的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。 过了一会儿, 他拿着一片奶酪回到房间, 把奶酪放 在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“ 孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈 妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪? ” “ 在捕鼠夹上,先生。 ” 那小男孩说。
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球 , 一个老美看到就笑我说 ,
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性 , 缩写正好是 Adidas)
一个老美帮我解围 , 他说 , 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就 是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢 , 这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔 ! 下次就换你去取笑老美了 .
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says:
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话 . 他问 :
1,Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗? 学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2. The Fish Net
鱼网
3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
新老师
9月 1日, 乔治放学回到家里。
4. A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时, 当同学们都还在苦思冥想时, 尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?
尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。
Jim?s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的历史考试
舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?
母亲:唉,糟透了。可话又说回来,这也不能怪他。嗨,他们尽问一些这个 可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
Magic change
神奇变化
Gaga is a little duck. He is small, dirty and ugly. His friends don?t like to play with him.
One day, Gaga walked behind his friends quietly(静悄悄地 ).But his friends did not want him. Gaga was very sad and ran to the river and cried loudly(大声地 ) 。
Just then, a big beautiful bird heard(听见 )him crying and flew down(飞下来,落 下来 ). She said, “Please don?t cry. Tell me, what do you want? I can help you.”
Gaga told the truth(真相 ). The beautiful bird said, “OK, I can help you to become a good-looking duck.” Then she took out a blanket and put it on the duck?s body. She said something which the little duck didn?t understand. Then she took away the blanket. There stood (站立 )a good-looking duck.
Gaga was very happy. He thanked the big bird and quickly went to play with his friends
范文四：幽默小故事英语
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幽默小故事英语
英语故事教学是小学英语教学中的一种重要方法,对学
生综合语言运用能力的发展起着重要作用。学习啦小编整理
了幽默英语小故事，欢迎阅读!
幽默英语小故事篇一 A government employee found and old brass lamp in a filing cabinet.
有一位政府机关员工在档案柜里面发现一盏老旧的铜
制油灯。
When he dusted it off,a genie appeared and granted
him three wishes.
当他把它的灰尘除去的时候。有一个精灵出现了 ，并
且同意他三个愿望。
"I'd love an ice-cold beer right now,"
他告诉精灵 “我现在马上就要一瓶冰啤酒 。”
he told the genie .Poof! A beer appeared .
砰!一瓶啤酒出现了。
Next the man said," I wish to be on an island,surrounded by becautiful and willing woman."
这个人接着说:“我想要到一个岛上， 被甘心乐意的美
女围绕着。”
Poof!He was on an island with gorgeous woman
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fawning all over him.
砰!他到了一个岛上，被美女纠缠着对他献殷勤。
Oh,this is the life,the guy thought.
这家伙想着啊，这才是生活呀。
"I wish I never had to work again."
“我希望我永远都不必再工作。”
And poof! He was back at his desk in the government office!
砰!他回到他在政府机关的 办公桌前。
幽默英语小故事篇二 Reaching the end of a job
interview ,
到了工作面试的最后部分，
the personnel recruitment officer asken a young engineer fresh out of Cambridge,
人事招聘主管问一位刚从剑桥毕业的年轻工程师:
" And what starting salary were you looking for?"
“你想要起薪多少呢 ?”
The engineer said,"In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year,depending on the benefits package."
工程师说 :“太约一年十四万左右吧，要视整体福利而
定。”
The interviewer said,"Well ,what would you say to
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a package of-weeks vacation,
面试主管说:“嗯，五个礼拜的假期，
1paid holidays,full medical and dental,
十四天带薪假，全额补助医疗和看牙科，
company matching retirement fund to0% of salary ,
百分之五十薪资的公司相对退休基金，
and a company car leased every years ,say,a red sports Mercedes? "
每两年公司租用配车，比如说，红色的奔驰跑车，你觉
得怎幺样呀?”
The engineer sat up straight and said ,
工程师挺直坐着说:
"Wow!Are you kidding?"
“哇!你在开玩笑吧?”
And the interviewer replied,"Yeah,but you started it."
面试主管回答说 :“对呀。不过是你起头的呀。”
幽默英语小故事篇三 Why
为什么
A cemetery grounds keeper was going about his rounds when he saw a man lying on a grave,
“位墓园管理员在巡视的时候，看见一名男子躺在坟墓
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上，
sobbing loudly and pounding his fits on the ground,
大声哭泣，并且用他的拳头重重地敲打地面.他悲痛地
说:
"Why did you have to die?Oh,why?Why?Why?"he lamented.
"你为什么一定要死?哦，为什么?为什么?为什么?”
"A loved one's passing is a terrible lose."the grounds keeper offered in consolation,
墓园管理员安慰他说“心爱的人死去是个很难受的损
失，
"but someday,the pain will pass."
但是终有一天，伤痛会过去的。”
"Love one?" the weeping man said ,looking up.
这位哭泣的男子抬起头看着他说:“心爱的人?
" I didn't even know the guy."
我根本不认识这个人。?
"Then why all the tears? "
"那为什么要痛哭流涕呢??"
"He was my wife's first husband!"
"他是我老婆的笫一任老公呀!”
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范文五：英语幽默小故事
英语幽默小故事
I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵,它感染了吗,” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告
诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”
“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元～为什么,不是说好只
要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”
TWO: Teacher:We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John:Well ，in the summer the days are long，and
in the winter the days are short. 老师:我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子,
约翰:嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。
The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的
老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了:“让我向进化论者提个问题——如
果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了,” “我来试试看，”一位老太太
说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”
英语幽默小故事中英文对照
Plagiarism
A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St. Louis tell about the time he spotted a plagiarized term paper. He summoned the student to his office. "This isn't your work." he said. "Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia.
"You cann't prove that!" the student sputtered.
My friend amiled and show him the paper. Circled in red was: "Also see article on communism." 抄 袭
我有个朋友在圣路易斯的华盛顿大学教欧洲历史，他说有一次他发现了一篇抄袭的学期论
文。他把那个学生叫到了办公室。“这不是你写的，”他说，“有人帮你从百科全书上原封不
动地打印了下来。”
“你没有证据。”那学生气急败坏地说。
我朋友笑了，他把论文拿给他看。用红笔圈出来的是:“也可参阅共产主义一文。”
Virtue
Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student. When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 美 德
获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。一天，电梯里很拥挤，
有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。
最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的
修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道:“坚持不懈是一种美德。”
Difference
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of
my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just
write it down."
区 别
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工
程学课的老师如此说。“我说?下午好?，本科生们回答说?下午好?。研究生们则把我说的话记
在笔记本上。”
Big Head
“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and
go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one,use your hat.”
大脑袋
“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说:“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说:“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆
来。”
“购物袋在哪,”
“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了,”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分
钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢,”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children.
Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
