我想做你的狗
《1》 Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock,
Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
谢耳朵：剪刀剪纸，纸包石头，石头砸蜥蜴，蜥蜴毒死斯巴克，斯巴克击碎剪刀，剪刀砍断蜥蜴，蜥蜴吃了纸，纸反驳斯巴克，斯巴克蒸发石头，最后就是一直都那样的，石头硌坏剪子。
《2》 Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
谢耳朵：你为嘛哭呢? 佩妮：因为我太傻了!
谢耳朵：这可不是什么好理由。大家都是因为伤心才哭嘛。比方我吧，我总为别人太傻而哭，因为人家愚蠢搞得我很伤心
《3》 Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Raj：我不喜欢虫子行了吧?吓得我半死。
谢耳朵：有意思。你害怕虫子，还有女人。要见着个瓢虫准让你神经分裂了。
《4》 Leonard: What got into him?
Penny: Oh, a couple of virgin Cuba Libres who turned out to be a little slutty. Leonard: You didn't.
Penny: You do your little experiments, I do mine.
雷纳德：他喝什么了?
佩妮：可能是杯并不太纯的纯自由古巴酒吧。 雷纳德：你不是吧。
佩妮：你们管你们做实验，我管我做咯。
《5》 *Howard is teaching Sheldon Chinese*.
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin. Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
霍华德：话说，你终于要学普通话了我还真高兴。
谢耳朵：为嘛?
霍华德：等你说顺溜了，有十多亿中国人民等着你去烦，你就不用来烦我了。
《6》 Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'
雷纳德：你在佩妮那儿干嘛呢?
谢耳朵：吃了顿饭，玩了点儿游戏，然后留下过夜了。哦，现在我对什么叫“床伴”有了更深入的理解，你高兴吧。
《7》 Penny: I give up. He's impossible!
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.
佩妮：我放弃了。他真是不可理喻。
谢耳朵：我不会是不可能的啊，我存在即有可能。我觉得你想说的是“我放弃了，他不像是真的。”
《8》 Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
谢耳朵：我才没疯呢，我妈带我去测过好吧?
《9》 *In tattoo salon*.
Girl: What are you gonna get, Raj? Raj: With my luck - Hepatitis!
女生：你想要什么呢，Raj? Raj：幸运的话——得个肝炎就行了
《10》 Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch.
谢耳朵：啊，地心引力，汝乃没心没肺之婊子。
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